


Letters, The

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-29
Updated: 2003-10-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 13:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14473929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: Prequel. About Simon right before he rescues River.  Spoilers for Serenity and Safe.





	Letters, The

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

 

Letters, The

## Letters, The

### by writingpathways

The Letters 

The ice is thin, come on dive in  
underneath my lucid skin 

"Ice" Sarah MacLachlan 

Part One - Alone 

It was quiet. 

A moment that Simon knew from experience was likely to be short, so he hurried to his office, ignoring smiles from nurses and salutations from patients and fellow doctors. He'd been waiting for a break from surgery and trauma to go through the pile of mail on his desk and find a letter from River. It'd been too long without word from her, and the abnormal act of silence from River made Simon feel more uneasy daily. 

No letter. 

The pile of mail on his desk, that had been on his mind every second had held no letter from River. He sat on the edge of the desk, idly still going through the letters in his hands. Trying to will a letter from her, trying to tell himself he hadn't shuffled through the pile correctly. But he knew he had. 

"Dr. Tam?" 

Simon looked up at the nurse in his door way, politely smiling and placing the letters back on his desk. "Yes?" 

"Mr. Sensa is waking up..." the nurse explained and her eyes connected with the mail in his hand. "Still no word from your sister?" 

Simon nodded, looking at the disappointing pile of paper in his hands. "I guess she's just busy..." 

"Well, most teenagers could care less about family, all about their friends you know. I'm sure she's just having fun." 

Simon nodded, it was the speech he'd been hearing for months now, months. Was it really normal to not hear from someone for months. Your closest friend, your favorite person, your little sister? The idea that the answer was yes unsettled Simon, but he shrugged it off. He was the only one reacting this way, he was the only one upset, maybe he was being selfish. Maybe everyone was right and he just wasn't letting his sister go. 

Part Two - The Letters 

A month later there had been a letter. But Simon's relief at the familiar writing on a vanilla-colored envelope had deflated in a second. The letter was wrong. Her hand writing was different, her thoughts weren't quite right. Words spelled wrong and she was talking about things that had never happened, making inside jokes about things they'd never laughed about. 

His parents had lectured him about his career when he tried to talk to them about it. He was talking crazy. He was behaving irresponsibly. He just missed his sister. His father told him to stop being so dependant on her, he was a doctor, a surgeon - possibly the best in the Core - and he had to get a grip. They didn't listen. They didn't care about the untrue stories, they said, `River is just playing' being silly and acting normal. 

It wasn't normal to Simon. He was sure. But then his friends said the same things, and his boss at the hospital came to him and wondered what was wrong. He was acting distracted, not being himself with the patients, not going beyond the call of duty as usual. And again Simon wondered, questioned, was he just not letting his sister go? 

Until the second letter. A week later. It was the same. Different fictions, different misspelled words. But the same as the first. Wrong. Not River. Not right. And it meant something, it nagged at him and he built up inside of him. And again his parents lectured about his career and behaving correctly. Not letting missing River ruin the life they'd built for him. She was fine. River was fine, they said. 

But Simon couldn't believe it. And he stared at the two letters. He read them over and over. Looking and searching for what River was trying to say, and his co-workers and boss looked at him strangely. His friends told him to get a grip. And his parents lectured about reputation every time he saw them. 

Part Three - Nightmare 

River dances, in Simon's dreams, to the sound of her own screams against a white-blue sky. River dances to the sound of her own screams against endless space. Simon needs to join the dance, grasp her hand in his. But he can't reach her. She dances, her feet fast against earth. She dances, her feet fast across nothing. He knows she'll fall but he won't be there to halt the stumble. 

Sometimes River speaks, in Simon's dreams, soft whispers that don't make sense and are against the rhythm of her dance; and drowned out by constant screaming. 

Then he hears her scream help me. And Simon knows. All the screams were once her whispers. Her cries for him, her brother, for saving. Simon hears it all, but he can't answer. His voice lost in the pace of her dancing against the changing backdrops of earth and space. 

It's the same every night. A nightmare of screams and his sister's image. Against earth and then space. Space scares Simon. Its nothing. Its neverending nothing. And he sees his sister trapped in it. Dancing. Whispering. But there is also screaming. Her screams. 

But when he wakes up, the silence of his world hurts more. The silence tells him everything is empty. Empty and quiet. Because it was River that brought life into his world. Laughter, jokes, fun and her gifted perspective on the world. His sister was special and they were more than family. They were each other's best friends, maybe their only friend was the other, and he couldn't stand the empty silence of her absence. 

And the whispers and screams were real. And he'd find out what they were saying, he'd find the answer. They were in the letters, the code was there. There was a pattern and it would explain the unsettling feeling under his skin. 

Part Four - The Code 

River was straight forward. He'd been trying too hard to find the pattern in her letters. She'd laugh at him, call him a dummy and he'd agree. It was simple. The code. The hint was the lies, but the code was simple. It was the misspelled words. If you took the missing letters of the right spelling and put them together. They spelled what River wanted him to know. 

The first letter said: They are hurting us. 

The second letter said: Help me. 

And Simon got sick when he read them. And he waved the Academy Officials immediately. Asking to see his sister, asking to speak with her. They gave him the runaround. He asked them questions and watched them lie. He knew they were lying. 

He went to his oldest and dearest friend, an Alliance Federal. She shook her head at him with sad eyes - eyes that pitied him. And she gave the speech. You aren't letting River go. You're too close to your sister. You're being insane, Simon. You aren't thinking clearly and seeing things. And she refused to look at the letters, to let him show her the pattern. She refused to believe him. And his parents were worse. 

And so he turned away. From his friends, from his parents. And was validated. A wave came from a man, he told him he was right about River. Asked him to meet with him - in a Black-Out Zone - to discuss what was happening and what it would take to save her. 

Simon had never set foot in a Black-Out Zone. Doing so was a thought he'd just never have, but when he got the odd wave on an untraceable line and he heard that he was right about River's life, there were no second thoughts. The man gave a nonnegotiable time. It was in the middle of one of his trauma shifts. Simon walked out, not looking back on his patients or thinking about it. He walked out. 

He got caught. His father lectured him on propriety and seemed to not even hear that River's life was in danger. And Simon felt sicker than he had when he read his sister's message for help. And he walked away from his father and back to the bar where answers waited. There was nothing but emptiness and disgust without River. He was not going to let his sister down. He would save her. Fix this. Fix it all because she was all he had he could count on. They always had been all the other had. His father had called after him, disowning him and more ridiculous words about Simon's career but never a word about River. 

Simon walked away faster. 

#### If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to writingpathways


End file.
